Master Kole, Jr

Marshall graciously dubbed me with his coveted moniker, while making sure to indicate my status as the second Master Kole. It works, however, and is appropriate.

I am, for all intensive purposes, done with graduate school. My Capstone team and I presented our final deliverable to our client and teacher on Wednesday. All I have left is a few hours of work and a final on Monday, neither of which will require much effort. In a little less than a week Dad and Jody will arrive in Chicago, followed closely by Mom, Justin, Carrie and (hopefully!) Dallas and Renee. A week from today I should also have the majority of my remaining possessions packed up and ready to load in a car on Saturday morning. It is amazing how quickly time has passed and how things are coming to a close.

Per Karen's not-so-subtle request, this post will serve as my main reflection of the last two years of my life. Karen, you are free to copy/paste/post/etc.

The last two years have been very educational, but perhaps not as much in the traditional sense. I have undoubtedly expanded my mind in the classroom and have been exposed to peers, teachers, and concepts that have forced me to critically examine myself and the world in which we live. That being said, although certain aspects of the academics were difficult or challenging, I am going to graduate near the top of my class having only read approximately 5% of the assigned readings and having finished way more assignments than I can count in the hours before they were due. I do not know if all of this means I am very smart, if the program was not challenging, or if it is a combination of things. I do wish the program had been more application than theory, but there's really nothing I could have done about that anyway.

I am going to walk away from UIC and my department with a little more technical knowledge and a lot more belief that my life is meant to be used for the good of others. How this good will be accomplished is yet to be determined, but I am sure that is something that will come in its own time.

The two years of my assistantship were a constant lesson in what not to do and what I do not want in my future career. I know that probably sounds negative, but it was actually a good experience. As I am now heading out and trying to find that first "real" job, I am able to look at many different aspects of a position and identify certain things that I either like or dislike.

The city itself has been the area that I have drawn the most education from. It forced me to grow up, to become self-assured and confident, to be aware and a tad bit more critical. The city taught me to take risks; to value new and different experiences. The city showed me how to find the small joys and how to adjust my understanding of beauty. Because of the city I learned to not be so sensitive, to laugh instead of bristle. I will leave here a stronger person who trusts in myself and my capabilities.

There is so much I should have done in my time here, yet also so much I did experience that I never thought I could do. In the end, I refuse to walk away with regrets. My experience was all mine and exactly what it was meant to be for me.

I do not know what the future holds, but I do know that making it through the two years here has fortified me against whatever the world may throw my way. I know I can do and survive anything now, and that is the single greatest lesson I have learned.

Love!

~g

Eww, gross!!

When did the earthworm brigade that accompanies a heavy rainstorm start to gross me out? When I was a child I never got squeamish, but tonight as I walked home in a downpour and was constantly dodging long moving sticks I kept thinking, "BLECH!"

My Capstone team and I had our final product printed today. We got it in the binders with section dividers, cover pages, and spine labels. All we need to do is finalize our presentation, which is scheduled for Wednesday morning. It's going to be over before I know it!

This coming weekend I will be going to my first, and probably only, Cubs game. There is a large group of people, of whom I only know 2, going to the Saturday noon game. It should be a lot of fun, even though I won't really know anyone. Woohoo for getting out of my comfort zone and doing new things!

Tomorrow I am going to work late. I am going to stop by Student Legal Services to chat with the student attorney about my sublease. My landlord has not contacted me in nearly 3 months, and with only 2 weeks left here I really need to get everything wrapped up. I decided to bring in the UIC lawyer because a) I don't know Chicago's laws regarding subleases and new tenant assignments and b) My landlord is a real estate lawyer by trade and I need to make sure there is someone on my side that can talk the lingo. I probably should have contacted legal services soon than this, but I kept holding out hope that my landlord would get in touch with me.

Last Friday we had our end-of-the-year office party, which included gifts for all of us that are graduating. I received a very nice cherry wood diploma frame, complete with the University of Illinois seal. It is a gorgeous, thoughtful, and useful gift. Next I need to find an equally nice frame for my Iowa State diploma. Ok, first I need to find my Iowa State diploma. :) I'm sure it's at home in Denver...somewhere.

There is really not much more to report. Things just continue to move along.

Love!

~g

Almost there!

I ran my final in exercise class yesterday and am now done with that! WOOT!!!

Lauren and I celebrated by eating lunch at Hashbrowns, an absolutely amazing breakfast/lunch hole-in-the-wall restaurant that, among other things, makes excellent hashbrowns. It was the perfect way to honor the fact we made it through exercise class without dying.

After lunch we headed to our college. Lauren went to work and I went to the computer lab to work my Capstone project. My team and I met last night for a marathon session of incorporating our client's final feedback into the guide and then finishing it. We walked out of the building shortly after midnight, but IT'S DONE! All that is left is for each of us to read through it and check for grammar/formatting issues.

I was supposed to work a full day today but was exhausted when I got home last night, so I emailed my boss and told her I was taking the morning off. I'm getting my laundry done and straightening up the house a bit, after having slept in gloriously late!

I can't believe I am almost done!

Love!

~g

Encounter of the Ridiculous Kind

So, I went home this past weekend. I had a dentist appointment to take care of before my insurance runs out after I graduate. Plus, it was Mom's birthday. I took Amtrak from Chicago to Mount Pleasant, where Mom picked me up and drove me the 2+ish hours home.

I have taken Amtrak a lot in the last two years. At this point I am willing to call myself an expert in train travel. One thing I have become good at is avoiding and/or cutting short conversations started with me by fellow passengers; the train is my time to do homework, read, sleep, whatever. I think I met my match on this last trip, however.

Thursday I was one of the first general passengers on my car. I quickly found and claimed two seats out of the way of the doors and the stairs. I was getting settled in when someone took the two seats across the aisle from me. Normally this is not a problem, but this guy started talking to me immediately. We were still 10 minutes from leaving Union Station and he was going nonstop like we had been friends and train buddies for ages.

I was doing all I could to discourage him, short of saying, "SHUT UP!" I mentioned I was a student finishing my degree and that I had a lot of work to do. This prompted him to tell me he is also a student (Technical school, welder). I told him I needed to get settled in and begin my work. This prompted a conversation on how good the train is for getting things accomplished. I mentioned I preferred to just sit quietly by myself and not talk to others so I can focus. This led to a conversation about how he has a phobia of other people and can't stand to sit with anyone (but he doesn't have a problem talking to people - apparently it's a proximity thing).

All the while I was pulling out and plugging in my laptop, getting out my MP3 player, etc. I finally said, "I'm going to work now" and put on my headphones and began the tedious task of ignoring him.

He eventually did stop talking when I stopped responding, but he didn't stop staring. I remained steadfastly focused on my computer (I actually got a lot accomplished) but was cognizant of the fact he was staring at me quite a bit. Every time his head turned toward me I also turned my head so I could look out the window and give him nothing to look at but my hair.

Note: Resolutely ignoring someone is exhausting.

I worked on my school assignments solidly until I heard the 10 minute warning for my stop. I packed up my computer (headphones still in!), then got out my phone to call my Capstone teammate to tell him what I had got done. Then I called Mom to let her know where we were at.

Check the clock. About 5 minutes. Damn.

And then it got interesting.

There I sat, staring out the window, when odd guy stands up in the aisle between our seats, puts his arms on the overhead luggage rack, leans into my seat and says, "I have to say, you have one of the most unique profiles I have ever seen."

What follows is the short conversation that came after that comment, with my thoughts in italics.

Me: (What the hell?!) Umm... it's the nose. A family trait.

Him: That, and the bottom lip. It sticks out a bit and gives you an interesting appearance.

Me: (Yayy!! So you are telling me I look like I'm pouting all of the time. Awesome!) Ok....

Him: It's not a bad thing! In fact, your face kind of reminds me of my fourth grade teacher.

Me: (I don't want to know. Didn't you mention you are all of 19 years old? How old do I look?!) I guess I'll take that as a compliment. I guess.... (Rolling eyes. Hard)

Him: Oh you should. I really liked my fourth grade teacher.

Me: (Please, God, let it be time for me to go downstairs for my stop. Please, please, please.) Oh, look at that. Time for me to go!

Him: Already?

Me: (Of course already! Way overdue, in fact!) GOODBYE!

So strange.

On the trip back today I also had a guy who was ridiculous. I was sitting behind him, and after my computer died (I was in a car with no outlets) I spent the majority of the trip slouched down in the seat, dozing. Every once in awhile the guy in front of me would turn around to look at me. After I rearranged and ended up in a position with my arms crossed, the guy in front of me turned around again and said, "Oh, it's not that bad." I stared at him, but didn't respond. He said, "Traveling by Amtrak is so much fun and way better than flying." I just continued to stare. He said, "The trip is almost over. Enjoy yourself some!" I held my stare, while simultaneously raising the hand holding my MP3 player so he could see me turning up the volume. He turned back around and left me alone.

The people you encounter on trains...

Love!

~g

A Year Ago

A year ago I rode a train from Ottumwa to Chicago.

I had been home for a funeral of someone who was too young to die. The train ride back to the city was the conclusion of a long, emotionally trying week. Heart heavy, sad and worn, I did not want to get on the train; I did not want to lose the support of my family. I did not want to be alone.

Per normal, Amtrak was late. Very late. 5 or 6 hours late. A train I should have ascended at 10:07 am I instead boarded mid-afternoon. Quickly finding a seat, I settled in amongst passengers who had been on the train for hours, some days. Several rows behind me a young man was speaking loudly on his cell phone. “We’re at some station in Iowa. Yeah, Iowa. Thank goodness I’m passing through here and not staying. Oh man, I hope there are no locals on the train.” I shot my hand up.

Normally I ignore other passengers. Having made numerous train rides in the last two years, I am very familiar and comfortable with the mode of travel, with the typical passenger make-up, and so forth. I’m always polite and courteous, but rarely engage in conversation with my fellow travelers. This time, however, I could not ignore the man on the cell phone.

Iowa routinely gets a bad rap. Iowa is routinely portrayed as full of ignorant, backward, uncultured, unsophisticated farmers. People commonly believe the stereotype that people in Iowa are only knowledgeable about 3 things: John Deere tractors, corn, and hogs.

Now, there is often a hint of truth in stereotypes. I will not deny that, as a giant in agriculture, Iowa is filled with hogs, corn, and John Deere green, but that is not what defines Iowans. Farming may be what we do, but it is not who we are.

Iowans are among the kindest individuals I have ever met. Ask an Iowan for help, and they will never turn you down. Wave to an Iowan and they will wave back, even if they don’t know you. Smile at an Iowan and you will not only get a return smile, but a greeting and a genuine conversation.

Iowans are polite. They are generous with their time, their resources, and their hearts. An Iowan looks out for their neighbor, knowing their neighbor is doing the same for them. An Iowan respects all individuals, regardless of race, religion, or political affiliation. An Iowan knows a person is not defined by what they say but by what they do.

An Iowan has the strength of steel in their blood. We endure scorching summers, frigid winters, tornadoes, and floods. We come through crisis and disaster, assess the situation, and immediately begin anew. We hurt deeply and overcome greatly.

Iowans are the largest family in the world. Iowans are brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins. Regardless of blood, an Iowan treats you as one of their own. You are always welcome in the life and home of an Iowan.

Iowans are intelligent. They are innovative. They are globally and environmentally minded. They are compassionate, proud, and faithful. Iowans never ask for more than they need, and they give back more than they got.

For these and so many other reasons, I could not ignore the man on the cell phone a year ago. Having just returned to Iowa and my family to be wrapped in love and strength, I could not ignore that man. He needed to know that there were locals on the train who could hear his disparaging tone. He needed to know there are people who choose to live in Iowa and accept all that being an Iowan means. He needed to know that for Iowans, it is not just a state to pass through, but a home.

And so I shot up my hand. His mortification was instantaneous and incredibly loud. “OH MY GOD!! Someone just raised their hand! Oh god! I’m so sorry!” Some people laughed, most ignored him, and the train began to move.

A few stops later, the empty seat next to me suddenly had someone in it. I glanced over and went back to my book. A finger poked me. I looked again. “I am so sorry honey!” The voice was unmistakable. It was the man that was on the cell phone. I just sat and looked at him and so he continued,”I meant no disrespect. Really!” I looked him straight in the eyes and said, “Yes you did.”

He did not expect this but I was not in the mood to placate a stranger. After staring at me a few more seconds, he softened a bit. “You’re right. I did. But I truly am sorry.” He told me his name, which I quickly forgot. He explained he was one his way to the South from San Francisco. He was moving, for love. I responded with the generic and safe information. Student in Chicago. From Northeast Iowa. One year down, one to go. I have this speech down pat.

He asked if I had known anyone in Chicago when I moved. I said no, save for a friend from high school I rarely see. His response to my answer caught me off-guard. “You are so brave! I am moving without knowing anyone as well, and I’m terrified!”

In true Iowa form, my heart softened. I had not been brave. I was just as terrified and reluctant as he. I often wanted to back out, drop out, and return home. I cried nonstop practically the first month. Oh, no. I was not brave at all.

We talked a bit more, and then he returned to his seat, but his admission stuck with me. Pulling a blank journal from my bag, I let my thoughts go on the first page. Thoughts of faith and strength and hope in the face of new and scary experiences. Thoughts of encouragement and trust. Thoughts of overcoming greatly.

Reading over what I had written, I made a snap decision. Penning instructions on the inside front cover, I signed my name under my entry on the first page, added the date and location, and my email address. I closed the journal, wrapping it with its ties. And breathed.

As we neared Chicago I passed him the journal. ”I think you are courageous as well.” I put my headphones on and fell into my own world. Through the music I could hear him, exclaiming in shock. I could hear him talking to the other passengers. Then it fell silent as he opened the journal and read.

Soon he was back in the seat beside me. “I can’t accept this.” “Yes, you can.” “Please, take it back.” “No.” And then I ignored him. Realizing I was not going to relent, he returned to his seat, with the journal.

As we arrived at Union Station, he tried once again to return the journal. Once again, I refused. I disembarked and walked away without a second look. I had done my part. I had reached out to someone who needed it. I made a connection with humanity. And, perhaps best of all, I taught someone that Iowans are more than the stereotype. There was nothing left for me to do on that train.

As I, exactly one year later, again ride a train to Chicago I wonder where that journal is now. The instructions were simple, merely asking whomever possessed it to add their own words of wisdom, whatever they may be or pertain to, and then pass the journal along to a stranger who needed it. I suppose I will never know what happened to it, but someday I hope I get an email from someone who has the filled journal in their possession.

~g

Letter

So, I was writing a letter to God tonight, and, per usual, my thoughts began to come randomly. For once there happened to be a keyboard under my fingers, and for the first time in a long time, my random thoughts were caught in a format that provides a historical record.

In my letter, I was asking God to have faith in me as I come to find my faith God. Which, in turn, led me to this:

"The supreme object of faith having faith. Now there's a double-whammy. And I suppose it begs the question, do you have faith in yourself? Now there's an interesting thought. One never thinks of God as something(one?) that needs to have faith and trust in His/Her/Itself, and yet, if you did not, then would you be able to continue functioning as God? Does your faith in yourself give you the capabilities to act in a godly manner? Following that line of thought, given we are made it your image, does it mean that we simply need only have faith in ourselves to act in the manner in which we want to/are meant to act? Is it really that simple?"

I have asked God, but now I am interested in what you, my family and friends have to say. There are a lot of questions in the above paragraph and, I'm sure, some concepts I am only now beginning to identify. I would love to hear what each of you think. Marcus, I am especially intrigued by what you might say.

Email me, post a comment, respond in your own blog. Whatever works for you. But please, share your thoughts.

Love!

~g

Rockin' It

My fancy haircut is about a month old, and I am still rockin' it. That's what happens when someone who knows what they are doing uses their expertise to give you a haircut that works for you. It's growing out great and looks awesome nearly every day. I love it!

And............ moment of vanity over!

We met with our Capstone client today to get feedback on the latest draft of our final deliverable. We have a lot of work to do and a very short time in which to do it! Lots of content adjustments and lots of visuals. We were expecting the visuals, even knew about most of them and have been intentionally holding them to last, but the content changes were a bit of a blindside. Our client was incredibly fair, acknowledging this was the fourth draft they have had to review and provide comment on, yet it is the first time they have mentioned content. They told us they would take care of anything we are not informed enough to write or not comfortable enough writing. Overall, they are still very impressed with our work and the deliverable, and I have a feeling their comments to our teacher are going to be very good.

One grammatical question: When do you use "into"and when is it "in to"? Our client wondered at our usage on occasion, making us wonder as well. I do not have a ready example at the moment (the final product is up to 80 pages and it can be a bit difficult to find such a small usage), but apparently it is something our client wants us to review.

Ok, another grammatical question: For a phrase such as, "It is important you identify all desired outcomes prior to beginning your data collection" should the word 'that' be included in the sentence after 'important' and before 'you'? My personal style is to never include 'that' but maybe by doing so I am always grammatically wrong.

I am not the grammarian that others in my family are, but I know that on most occasions I am still more advanced than my peers. My biggest downfall is punctuation. And remembering the proper terminology for certain words, such as conjunctions. I implicitly know why words are used the way they are, but ask me to explain it and I am a bumbling idiot.

I launched my first-ever online survey today. I designed the survey myself - the questions, the placement, the logic applications, etc. - and came up with the list of whom to send it to. The survey is for work. We are attempting to collect from the many student affairs and academic affairs offices on campus information about their philosophy of student leadership development, as well as the leadership development activities/programs they offer to their students. The information comes too late for me, but I can turn over the survey results to the next graduate assistant, who will hopefully be able to use them to design a more comprehensive and relevant menu of services.

Tomorrow I go back to gym class. Blech. I skipped on Monday to attend a lecture on word-of-mouth marketing, given by one of the premier voices in the field. My department, in collaboration with several other agencies, sponsored the lecture and I was able to attend for free. I decided it was more beneficial for me to attend the lecture than to be yelled at by a psycho and run around a track until I couldn't breathe. I've got my priorities straight.

I have come to realize that I have trouble letting go of the day; that I stay up way too late every night because I can't seem to make myself shut down the computer, close the books and the notes, and just go to bed. I'm going to try to get to bed at least an hour earlier tonight than I did last night, which means...

Love!

~g

Snow in April?! Whatever is a girl to do?!

Put the darn winter coat back on, that's what.

People are not happy with the weather. I get it. It is the beginning of April, we had some really nice teaser days in the 60s and low 70s, and frankly, we're all sick of winter. Whining about it will not change the fact that winter is just not ready to let go.

If one ever needs or wants a test in patience, head to the Midwest and wait for the coming of spring. If that won't teach you patience, nothing will.

Just like that, another week is gone and I am now only 5 weeks from graduation. 3 1/2 weeks from turning in my final Capstone project. 3 weeks exactly from running a mile non-stop in an attempt to improve my time from 4 months ago. 4 wrap-up reports, 3 program packets, 2 performance assessments, and 1 annual report from being done with my assistantship. Hmm.. for some reason I feel as if I should be breaking into song here....

My life by the numbers. Thrilling reading, I'm sure.

Tomorrow it will have been a week since I interviewed with MotM. I have not heard anything yet, but hope to soon. What is the appropriate way for me to follow-up, if at all? I sent thank you cards on Tuesday last week after my interview, which should have reached everyone by Friday. Do I just continue to wait to hear, or can I call or email tomorrow to check in on where the process is? If I do follow-up, do I call or email? Do I wait until later in the week and then make contact if I have heard nothing?

How come we are not taught job searching etiquette in school?

In other news, I have been asked to join and accepted the offer to become a member of Phi Alpha Alpha, the national Public Administration honor society. Offers of membership are made based on academic performance; this year only 10 students from the graduating class were offered membership, which is fewer than in past years. I get a lifetime membership to both the society and the UIC chapter, and will get a pin and cord to wear at graduation, as well as a certificate I can frame all fancy and hang on my wall like I'm somebody.

I am also a recipient of one of the (many, not-so-exclusive) Chancellor's Student Service Awards. This award is UIC-specific and honors unpaid student service to UIC and greater Chicagoland area. This means another pin and cord for graduation, and another certificate.

My friend Lauren will also be joining the honor society and has earned a Chancellor's Student Service Award as well. She also picked up an Alumni Association Award for Leadership a few weeks ago, which means another cord and pin for her at graduation. She's on a mission to have as much around her neck as possible, which she is well on her way to achieving. We both think it would be fun to create our own cord for our service to the student association this past year, making a trip to the fabric store is a real possibility in the near future. Also, we want to Bedazzle our mortarboards. Hehe... we may be getting our post-graduate degrees in a few weeks, but that does not necessarily imply maturity. We do have respect for the solemn ceremony of graduation, for the Pomp and Circumstance, and for our place in the rather elite club of post-graduates, but we would also like to be able to look back at pictures of this time in our life and see our younger selves having fun, enjoying life, and not taking ourselves too seriously. Of course, if the world really does end in 2012, none of this will matter anyway.

Time to wrap this up. Tomorrow is an early and long day. I do have final shout-outs, though:

Justin: I have been saying, "Cheers. You're wicked." a lot lately. People look at me funny.

Marshall: As soon as that kid pops out I want a call telling me if I'm an aunt of a niece of a nephew. Don't you dare send me an email.

Dad: Are you feeling better? Have you watched any of the miniseries yet?

Karen: Thank goodness you stole some of the better pictures from my Facebook! Thank you for taking down the horrendous one of me from 3.5 years ago.

Cary: I do not know how you do it. I admire your strength and patience in dealing with 3 children under the age of 4 every day. I am proud such a capable and tenacious woman like you is related to me.

Marcus: I have been playing The Ice Cream Socialists' Cd's at work and my coworkers are in love with you. I tried to look you up on YouTube and found some of your videos, but also found quite a few by a different band with the exact same name. Are you waiting for them to change their name or will you at some point pull a Prince move, hold a giant final concert, and change your name to something like, "The Liquid State of Ice Cream: Melting A Direct Result of Capitalism."?

That's it. If you did not get a personal shout-out, do not feel bad. I directed comments to those whose blogs I check daily.

Love!

~g

I'm not witty tonight

So no clever title for this post.

ABC just debuted a new show a few weeks ago. If you like humor and cop drama, you should check out "Castle". Plus, the star is Nathan Fillion, and he is both hilarious and a total cutie.

I'm back in Chicago, beginning in earnest to wrap everything up and finish my formal higher education. It seems to all be happening really quickly and abruptly, which seems odd to me, considering how long I've been looking forward to the end. Strange how life and our emotions work.

I interviewed with MotM yesterday. It was a pretty quick and generic interview, but I am hoping I did well enough for an on-site visit in a few weeks. I really want this placement and think it would be a great place to begin a career and really start to learn what my chosen field is all about. Plus I have friends living in MotM, so the transition would not be too bad. Keep your fingers crossed!

Classes are wrapping up well. I'm doing great in my project management class and am really enjoying the subject material. And our capstone project is going great! We are one of the few groups that is nearly complete with our project, and there is still a month to go. Woohoo for being organized!

There is really not that much to report, I just know how frustrating it is to be checking blogs and see that the person is not updating occasionally. That's why I love Justin's blog so much. :)

Yayy for a weak post!

Love!

~g